The Fool’s Journey begins…

I don’t know what this year is going to look like, but I’ve been listening to a shit load of podcasts, audiobooks, doing research, having conversations, and basically my goal is to be creating a life where art is my primary source of income.

I finally realized that the amount of energy I was putting into looking for work from anywhere jobs and opportunities that don’t always offer insurance anyway, is energy I could be investing in building myself and what I want for my path. And ultimately, that searching for something outside of myself was coming from a place of fear.

The Fool’s Journey is officially beginning.

Working in bars as a way of connecting with people has been a really interesting way to see what I create through other people’s eyes. The 2 big take aways I’ve heard consistently is that I’m undervaluing myself, and that I’m a pretty good singer. Reflecting on it, I think these things are connected…

The singing thing is deep. I was always told we were terrible singers in our family so I shouldn’t bother. But the thing is, I LOVE to sing! I do it all the time. In the shower, in the car, at the bar, in the grocery store… like you wouldn’t know meeting me that I have such severe insecurity about my voice, but I just do it in a low key playful way. I’ll sing to you while I make you a drink. I’ll sing to you at the stop light. I’ll sing WITH you to the overhead music in a store. But I won’t do karaoke. I’d certainly never join a band. I’m just trying to free myself a little bit.

My voice plays out in art, too, right? And undervaluing myself… ugh. Makes me want to puke just confronting it. Like, I can’t tell you how scary it is to think about raising my prices. What if no one buys anything anymore? What if you were just being nice, but now it’s too much? What if I price out my regular patrons?

The reality is, I do have a wealth of experience, and I do have skill, and it does take a significant amount of time to create things. When I create for others, that does take time away from what I might create for myself. And all of that has value. And what would I tell you to do? Or my kids? Or my students?

So as much as it scares the shit out of me, my prices are going up. But, because I can’t help it… if you’ve been a loyal patron and feel like the jump is a bit preventative (I know there are some of you who come to me for all your fur babies, and I LOVE that!), please reach out to me and don’t hesitate to say so and I’ll work with you. I just do need to take the advice I’d give any other artist/person. Ask for what you’re worth. Because you’re worth it. You have something to offer that no one else has, and people will want what you have.

Which brings me to something that keeps coming up in these podcasts and audiobooks… what is my art about? Why do I create? What do I have?

This is where The Fool begins to take a step.

Whatever I say to that is the path I’m going down.

I’m compelled to create.

I see something in my mind and I need to see it in front of me. I love people, so much of my digital work is figurative and narrative like the tarot cards, but while I love our differences, I know we’re all just aspects of the same universe, so they’re faceless and galactic. I love the sky and the universe so many of my paintings explore the vastness of the sky. Sometimes I’m going through something and I need a release in paint…. there are a number of reasons I create, but the common theme seems to be “I create as a way to connect.”

I’m absolutely obsessed with humans and the human experience, I think we’re the gods we create in our image (this is why I’m enamored with Vegas). I love to travel, I love odd jobs, I love meeting people, I love connecting with people, I just really love the experience of being alive. And I love the stories we tell, the ways we experience god/the divine/the universe. We’ve been retelling the same stories for millennia. Through religion, art, music, dance, plays, film… It’s our collective story. We are so much more similar than we ever are different. Only the context changes. The year, the climate, the terrain, as our cultures shift, the stories shift. This is what my art is about, this is why I create. Because I’m a human aware of creation, and I want to participate in it and capture it.

Commissioned pieces are the deepest of honors. When someone comes to me because they love what I’ve done in the past and want something of their own that represents them… that’s like HELL YEAH! I love that you trusted me to bring your vision to life. Pets are such an integral part of our lives and families, and when I’m invited to create a portrait for someone, and then I hear “You captured exactly who she is!” I couldn’t be more delighted! When someone comes to me and says, “I really want a mural, and I want it to be like…” and I can see your vision and then create it for you and I come to your home or see your posts on my feed and I see what I created for you as a part of your daily life… jeezus… that makes me so happy!

It’s like the same reason I love bartending, or really any other service jobs. Why I create is because I love to bring a little light into the world. When you light up, you light others up, and it’s so important we are this light in the world for each other.

If you’d like a little light in your life, reach out to me. If you think someone else might like what I have to offer and could create for them, please share me with them.

Thank you for being on this Fool’s Journey with me. I love you.

And stay tuned… I imagine it’s going to be a helluva year, and there’s a lot to be created.